


Between Us And The Darkness

by Kaza999



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4481615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaza999/pseuds/Kaza999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marethari is dead.  Another way the confrontation with Clan Sabrae could have gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Us And The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> So i was never happy with how Merrill's plot resolved itself in-game, cuz for all the bad choices merrill made (cough a demon cough), Marethari messed up pretty badly too, and no one ever talked about how marethari's decisions impacted clan Sabrae. 
> 
> So here--similar results, but different.

Marethari was dead. 

Hawke, Merrill, Isabela and Anders left the cave that had been Audacity's lair. Merrill was dead white, walking slowly and leaning heavily on Hawke. Every once in a while, she would give a full-body shudder, as if she were holding back sobs. 

Outside the cave, the hunters of Clan Sabrae met them. 

"What have you done?" one of the hunters hissed, glaring at Merrill. "Where is the Keeper?"

"Marethari is dead," Hawke said. "She was possessed by a demon."

Gasps of horror went through the crowd. "This is your doing!" the hunter at the head of the group snarled. 

"Hey--" Hawke moved to get between Merrill and the hunters, but Merrill furrowed her brow and pushed past her, taking a deep breath. 

"Marethari chose to be possessed by the demon, instead of letting me talk to it," she said quietly. 

"This is _your_ fault," the hunter said. "You and your blasted demon—you sacrificed the Keeper--"

Merrill sucked in another breath. "I would have sacrificed myself, Aenorean!" Merrill exclaimed. She gestured to Hawke. "I even brought Hawke--so she could kill it if it possessed me! But Marethari took that choice away from me—she put me above her Clan, and it cost her her life, and that is her _own_ doing, not mine."

"If you hadn't--"

"It doesn't matter what I did!" Merrill said. "Marethari put _me_ above _you_ —put one person above the whole Clan—I _left_ the Clan, and she still thought me more important than you!"

The other hunters looked at each other, a growing concern on their faces. Aenorean, the hunter at the front, bit the inside of his cheek.

"And she..." Merrill caught her breath and closed her eyes. "She destroyed Clan Sabrae."

"She did not!" a huntress said. "We are still here!"

"Maybe you are." Merrill sighed. "But you have no Keeper, no First," Merrill said, stepping forward even as the other Hunters moved back. "And I—I left, so some of that is my fault, but Marethari did the rest." she shook her head and looked away. "And you let her," she muttered. "No--no, _I_ let her. It _is_ my fault."

"That is not--"

"It _is_!" Merrill drew herself up to her full height. 

"If you had not started with your foolish blood magic--"

"I. Left. The Clan." she said. "I was to be as foolish as I wished, because I could hurt no one but me! You wanted me gone so I could hurt none of you, Marethari even warned you off me!" tears began to shine in her eyes. "But she didn't let me go," Merrill choked. "You should have been gone by now, left off long ago—but you're still here. She kept you here, because she thought I was more important than you." she angrily wiped at her eyes, refusing to burst into tears. "She would keep you afraid, make you ignorant, and she didn't even protect you!"

"Don't speak ill of her like that," another hunter snapped. "She is not even cold yet!"

"It's true!" Merrill snapped right back. "She was—she was--" Merrill took a deep breath. "Marethari proved with her last actions that she was an unfit Keeper," she said, her voice taking on a more formal tone. "She put the wellbeing of one person above that of the Clan. She put Clan Sabrae in danger by remaining in one place, and by sacrificing herself to a demon. She has taken you down a dark path, and I, as the last of Marethari's Firsts, did not protect you the way I should have." she shook her head. "Clan Sabrae has no First, has no Keeper," she said. "The Clan cannot function like this. You must leave, and seek aid from other Clans."

"You have no authority over us," Aenorean hissed. "Death follows you, blood mage—you are not one of us any longer."

"I remove _myself_ from your Clan," Merrill snapped at him. "I neglected my duty as Marethari's First, but--"

"You have not been our First for years, you cannot claim that title now!"

" _Marethari named no First after me_!" Merrill shouted over the hunter. "She _crippled_ Clan Sabrae! I can use the title because she named no one else! And I tell you, leave now, seek aid from other Clans, or there will be no Sabrae anymore!"

The hunters murmured amongst themselves. One older elf pushed through the crowd. Not a hunter, he must have followed the others up from the main camp. Hawke vaguely recognized him as Paivel, one of Sabrae's hahrens.

"Paivel--" both Merrill and one of the hunters spoke at once, and Paivel raised a hand. 

"Merrill's right," he said with a sigh. "Marethari should never have done this, never put us in danger like this."

"But Merrill's demon--" Aenorean began. 

"Doesn't matter. Not anymore. Merrill killed it, and Marethari did not. She became possessed by it. She failed as Keeper, when she put her own wants above our needs."

Merrill nodded. "I'm sorry," she said. "I should have protected you."

Paivel nodded. "You should have. And for your negligence, you cannot return to us again."

Merrill went white. "But I--" she stopped and took a deep, steadying breath. "I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so _sorry_. Please, Paivel. Find help. You'll die without it."

Paivel reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "We'll leave," he assured her softly. "I promise. We'll find another Clan."

He stepped back. "Please go, Merrill," he said. "You and Marethari both cost us dearly. Leave."

"Yes, I—yes. Come on, Hawke." Merrill said. "Take care," she told the hunters. "Please take care."

None of the other elves spoke to her as they left, and made their way down the mountain. 

"That went well," Anders muttered. 

“I don't want to hear it, Anders,” Merrill snapped, then rubbed her face, her eyes welling with tears again. 

Isabela put a hand on Merrill's shoulder and shot a look in Anders' direction. Anders ignored her. 

"Do you see the consequences of blood magic now?" Anders asked. 

"I told you quiet," Merrill exclaimed, wheeling to face him. "Marethari is dead, my Clan is in ruins—all I want is for you to be quiet, not needle at me with your—your Circle nonsense!"

Anders was affronted, his eyes gleaming blue for just a moment. "It wouldn't even have happened if--"

"Did you not hear any of what I said?" Merrill curled her hands into fists. "Marethari was on a bad path—my whole Clan was, and now she's dead and I didn't stop it and you want to rant at me about blood magic?" she shook her head. "You don't understand. You don't understand anything."

"You cannot possibly blame her for this!"

" _Shut up_!" Merrill shouted. "Did you not hear anything?" she demanded, moving so she got right up in Anders' face. "She thought I was more important than the Clan, she named no First after me when I left—I was prepared to face the demon and she would rather have endangered the whole Clan instead of let me do what I needed to do!"

"And if you'd never gotten obsessed with that damn mirror, none of it would have happened at all!"

"It would have happened eventually!" tears were now flowing freely down Merrill's face. "You can't have a Keeper who thinks like that—who puts their First above everyone else! She would have put the Clan in danger in another way, would have--" she stopped and shook her head. "Be quiet, Anders," she told him. "Just be quiet."

Anders opened his mouth again, but Hawke cut him off with a shake of her head. "Not right now," she hissed in the blond man's ear. 

"I'm sorry, Merrill," Hawke said, putting an arm around Merrill's shoulders.

"Me too," Merrill whispered, and turned her head and pressed her face to Hawke's neck. "Me too."


End file.
